Four years ago, many high school graduates missed their traditional ceremonies due to the pandemic — and this year, some of those same students lost the chance to graduate. university degrees amid ongoing political protests.
Columbia University and the University of Southern California have both announced the cancellation of their traditional “main stage” for 2024.
Other universities, such as the University of Michigan, have had their ceremonies disrupted by anti-Israel protesters.
“Regardless of what one thinks of the recent protests, it is important to recognize that graduate students, their families and friends have been swept away as a result of the unrest. university campuses” Zachary Ginder, a psychological consultant in Riverside, California, told Fox News Digital.
As they mourn the loss of this celebratory event, some graduates may experience a “FOMO stage” – leaving them disappointed, angry, depressed and anxious about their future as they prepare to enter the real world.
Graduates attend graduation at UNC Chapel Hill on Saturday, May 11, 2024. Earlier in the day, students vandalized the Chancellor’s Building to protest the Hamas-Israel war. (Live image for Fox News Digital)
Here’s what’s important to know.
What is the “FOMO milestone”?
Milestone FOMO (fear of missing out) refers to the fear of missing out on life events or milestones that others may experience or achieve.
“It can also be described as a type of envy where people see their friends reaching important milestones in their lives, like getting married or to buy a houseand that contributes to the person feeling left out or not equal with their peers,” Nicholette Leanza, a therapist at LifeStance Health in Ohio, told Fox News Digital.
As they grieve the loss of a significant celebratory event in their lives, some new graduates may experience a “FOMO stage” – leaving them disappointed, angry, depressed and anxious about their future as they prepare to enter in the real world. (iStock)
For graduates, the FOMO experience can lead to a reduced sense of accomplishment, she said.
“We all like to have a reward after hard work, and the pomp and circumstance of a graduation ceremony can be considered a reward for hard work,” Leanza said.
“So if graduates aren’t allowed to celebrate their accomplishment, they may feel like all their hard work has been diminished and they’ve lost that rite of passage.”
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For many, a graduation ceremony marks not only the culmination of years of hard work and dedication, but also a crucial transition into adulthood and the next phase of life, Ginder noted.
“Missing this milestone event can lead to feelings of grief and loss, sadness, disappointment and a sense of incompleteness for those involved,” he said.
“If graduates are not allowed to celebrate their success, they may feel like all their hard work has been diminished and they have lost that rite of passage.”
“It is not difficult to imagine the distress some likely felt working for four years or more to achieve a goal, only to see the culmination and official public recognition disappear just days before the event.”
Students may feel “robbed of the opportunity” to celebrate their accomplishments with classmates, teachers and loved ones, Ginder said.
“The lack of closure and the lack of a tangible marker for this important transition can make it more difficult to process the end of this life chapter and move forward,” he added.
4 Ways to Counter “Milestone FOMO”
For graduates who can’t attend a ceremony, experts have suggested four ways to process and overcome the resulting emotions.
1. Focus on recognizing and accepting emotions
“Sadness, anger, disappointment and frustration are all normal reactions to loss,” Ginder told Fox News Digital.
“Graduates should schedule time to process these emotions, while keeping in mind that life is a journey with many ups and downs.”
For many, earning a degree marks not only the culmination of years of hard work and dedication, but also a crucial transition into adulthood and the next phase of life, one expert noted. (iStock)
For many, earning a degree will not define their academic careerGinder pointed out.
“By refocusing on what has been learned, friendships and positive memories, we can help people overcome the acute emotional challenges of not having a degree.”
2. Question and reframe any unhelpful thoughts
Students faced with this disappointment may have negative thoughts such as “I will never be able to achieve this milestone” or “My accomplishments no longer matter,” according to Ginder.
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“When these thoughts resurface, graduates may try to replace them with others. balanced thoughtsfor example: “I can find other ways to celebrate my hard work” or “My accomplishments still have value, even without a traditional ceremony.” »
3. Create your own ceremony
“Organize a more personal graduation ceremony where close friends and family celebrating your accomplishment can be a wonderful way to mark this special occasion,” Leanza said.
“Dressing in graduation regalia, asking loved ones to give inspirational speeches, and even walking through a symbolic or impromptu stage could help the graduate recognize their achievement.”
“The lack of closure and lack of a tangible marker for this important transition can make it more difficult to process the end of this life chapter and move forward,” one expert said. (iStock)
If campus is nearby, Ginder suggests visiting family and friends, taking photos, sharing and appreciating all the good things that happened while studying to help ease the pain.
4. Take stock of what was accomplished and gained, not what was lost
“Human nature is to focus on the negative, and while earning a degree is an important milestone, it’s not the end of your journey,” Ginder said.
While acknowledging loss, graduates can also “hold space for gratitude” for what has been gained and good things that exist in the present moment, he added.
“Human nature is to focus on the negative, and while earning a degree is an important milestone, it is not the end of your journey.”
“If this is difficult, try taking action for the future, such as setting short-term and long-term goals and focusing on the next steps in life,” Ginder advised.
How parents and loved ones can help
Family members should allow graduates to feel sad and disappointed by the loss, according to Leanza.
“Encourage them to talk about it and give them your full attention when they share their feelings with you,” she suggested.
Family members should allow graduates to feel sad and disappointed about the loss, experts say. (iStock)
Encouraging acceptance can also help graduates manage their emotions, Leanza said.
“Accepting something doesn’t mean you have to like it, it just means you accept the facts of the situation,” she said.
“This acceptance allows you to devote energy to facing the situation instead of trying to avoid or deny it.”
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Help recent graduates plan their next steps, such as updating their resumes and look for work — can be another way to show them support, she said.
Loved ones can also help find another way to celebrate and recognize the graduate’s success, Leanza said, such as by hosting a surprise graduation ceremony or party to help boost their morale.
“We all like to have a reward after hard work, and the pomp of a graduation ceremony can be considered the reward for hard work.” (iStock)
Parents and family can help, Ginder said, by validating graduates’ feelings without minimizing or dismissing them, finding other ways to celebrate or recognize the accomplishment of earning a degree and offering support and encouragement.
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“Everyone deals with loss differently,” he said. “While some may not consider this a significant loss, others may find it very difficult to recover from.”
For graduates who are struggling to overcome this problem — and if it begins to interfere with daily functioning and mood — it may be advisable to seek professional help from a licensed clinician, Ginder said.
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